Three months

So much has changed in three months. Sooooo much. And I did a poor job of documenting it. I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.  It's only my CHILDHOOD.

Life is more harmonious now. I've learned a lot about how to handle two babies, and the girls have gotten happier, calmer, gigglier, and more entertainable. So life's been improving at double speed.

Mommy doesn't call me as many bad names anymore.

I love the girls more and more now. That sounds like such a negative thing to say, doesn't it? Like that necessarily means that I used to love them less. But it's a different love. The more time I spend with them and the more their personalities develop, the more I am loving them as their own little people and not just their potential.

We are pretty charming.

On a shallow note, they have both grown up from adorable but bleary preemies into gorgeous babies.

Hayley is a whopping twelve pounds; she's more than doubled her birthweight. I call her Chunk, Matt calls her "the little butterball," and we sing "Hungry Eyes" to her with the words changed to "Thunder Thighs."

Guess who?

But we love that she's eating and gaining weight well. We tell Sarah to be more like her sister, because she hates eating and is only ten and a half pounds. I call her Tiny Ass because she was in newborn diapers for over two months. I also call her Fatty Fatty Fat-Fat when she has a good weigh-in, to encourage her.

Words hurt, you know.

Yes, yes, we will stop the weight comments and sibling comparisons when they're able to understand us. We really do want mentally healthy kids; it's just too entertaining to smile and say terrible things that they can't understand. That's probably a sign of sociopathy... I'm not going to look too deeply into that part of myself.

Someone please adopt me.

Sarah's eating actually is a real concern. Sometimes she'll eat peacefully and sometimes she'll freak out and scream at the bottle like we're jamming a hot poker in her mouth. But even on a good day, she still doesn't have a big enough appetite to support good weight gain. She's been improving on her own a little, but mealtime is still a real chore. It's just so frustrating when you know she's hungry but she simply refuses to eat. She's like an ancient god who gets enraged when her tributes are offered incorrectly.

You'll rue the day you dishonored me.

On the plus side, both girls sleep amazingly. They were good sleepers from birth, but now they're all organized about it. When the sun goes down, they go down too, and all we need to do is plunk them down in their cribs and say, "Good night!" They were waking up around 3am for one middle of the night bottle, but the last couple nights they've slept all the way to 7am. Forget that "sleeping through the night means five consecutive hours" crap. We're sleeping through for real now! *knocks on EVERY piece of wood*

Divine providence

During the waking hours, the girls can't get enough of Looking. It's their favorite skill. They like to Look at dangly toys, bright lights, the clock pendulum, the TV, their feet and each other. But nothing is more limb-flailingly spectacular than Looking at mommy and daddy first thing after they wake up.

OMG I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN HOURS!!!

Recently, they discovered Batting when their wildly flailing arms happened to connect with some of their dangly toys. That was exciting enough, but now they're both on the hairy edge of Grabbing, which is blowing their tiny minds. Sarah is slightly better at it, but Hayley made a good, concerted effort today. She slowly raised her arm and tried with all her might to aim it at the dangly giraffe. She totally whiffed it, but her hand ended up near the parrot, so she moved her gaze and aimed for her new target. Another whiff, and then her arm collapsed with the mental and physical effort. But I love how hard she's trying!

A for effort!

I love spending my days with the girls. Now that they no longer require constant triage, I get to really enjoy interacting with them and watching their brains grow. Even the smallest things, like Sarah rubbing her fingers together today, are amazing because they're brand new accomplishments in coordination. I feel like now is when I'm really watching them being born. Everything that it means to be human, every tiny piece that we take for granted, is indivdually falling into place.  They've already learned so much, and they've still barely even begun.  I can't believe how lucky I am to be able to watch it happen.

Matt may have a hard time talking me out of a third.

Funny how a full night's sleep changes your outlook, huh?